December 26, 2023

The Value I leave

by Tom Mueller

I lay on death’s bed
Life force ebbing this eve
I wonder of life
And the value I leave

The watchers are near
Sensed more than seen
Malevolent – not
But neither at ease

Gordon described them
As he neared his death
Shadowy figures
Above and ahead

So what have I done
In this life I have led?
I ask myself this
With so little time left

I’ve asked it before
It’s always on mind
As one advances
To the nothingness line

But it seems final now
And I ponder it sore
What have I done?
And what is the score?

The nothingness line
Is that what death brings?
For some, this rings true
But it doesn’t for me

I know life continues
Beyond this dread line
It will be something
Dreadful or fine

But this life matters
Work was assigned
Hidden work, really
To do on this side

Work hard I did
Was my focus on mark?
Did I do all the work
Prescribed at the start?

It seems unknowable
As I lay in this bed
I yearn to know
As my life force ebbs

Some friends will visit
To say their goodbyes
Will that be the measure
Of work done right?

My heart has raged
Over faults and slights
My heart now aches
As I see the light

Appearing ahead
Warmth does it glow
My time here is done
Soon will I know.

Written by Tom Mueller
March 2021